I heard a mom say to another mom today, "My daughter would never do that."
I thought Whaaaat. A. Dumb. Ass.
If you're a parent and you disagree with me...you're wrong. Teenagers try very hard to be badasses even if they end up being mostly jackasses.
Last year my daughter sent me this text while we were at a basketball game: Can I get something to eat with Josh after the game?
My husband and I responded: Not tonight.
Her: Whyyyyy? Please can I go?
Us: No. Not tonight.
Her: They won't let me go. They're bitches.
I processed this for a full minute and handed him the phone to read. And then I started laughing. Uncontrollably laughing. He looked at me and said, "This is NOT funny."
I said, "It's not." (Still laughing) "She called us bitches." (Still dying.) Omg, she actually called us bitches and accidentally sent it to us.(Crying laughing.) (Other parents staring at me laughing.)
When I finally pulled myself together, we collaborated and sent this back: I don't think you meant to send this to us.
The greatest pleasure was watching her read it. She was about 10 rows below us and to the right. It was the best punishment of all. There she sat, all red faced with nowhere to go. (She was a JV cheerleader and required to sit through the whole game.) And she cried. And cried. And cried.
Boy, that was a fun ride home. We put on great game faces and said some very parental things.
And that night before we went to bed, I said to my husband, "Can you bring me a glass of water?...bitch"