Not everyone is invited into my "group." I have requirements. I don't have that kind of time or room in my life. Don't get me wrong, I have a general like of people. But not that guilt thing that other women feel about including everyone.
I like my friends to be falling apart. Chaos everywhere. The moms that look for the matching baseball sock right up until they're 10 minutes late for the game even if they leave right now.
They have to have multiple children. By multiple, I mean more than 3. If you have 3, you may qualify with multiple pets or a really idiotic husband. Maybe.
Most of my close friends have 4 or more children. And on the rare occasion I call them, none of us like talking on the phone, it's just another thing hanging on us, they generally answer the phone yelling, "Is it really that hard to pee inside the toilet?!!...Oh, hey what's going on?"
Which is why I love this text from my close friend Kate.
OMG...I just had to run Bryan's ventilator in to get it checked, then I got back in the car and as we r driving down the road I took a drink of my diet coke...Which was no longer diet coke bc apparently while I was in there Todd and his mom dumped it out so Bryan could pee in it and they forgot to tell me. How nice...just in case you wondered pee actually tastes a lot like ocean water but warmer and a tad less salty...And how is your day?
And this is why I make room for Kate in my life.